I wish I could learn to free-associate during the rough draft stage. Release all inhibitions and just type away. I know that most of what I write will be chipped away later, during the rewriting phase. I know, too, that I lack the talent to be able to just dash off chapter after chapter of brilliant writing. Never had it, never will. The whole point of a rough draft is that it should be rough and largely imperfect. So why all the hesitancy? If I approached fixing dinner the way I approach a rough draft, I’d only eat every other day, at best.
I suppose part of it is the constant struggle between overthinking versus underthinking. In the rough draft stage the writer needs to rush in foolishly and fearlessly. Does it make sense? Does it all hang together? Doesn’t matter; just get it all down. Underthink it for now. Yes, most of writing is rewriting. But the writing has to come first. Some people are naturally talented writers. Like the prom queen or the captain of the football team, they are the lucky, chosen few. The rest of us have to rough it out. Perhaps if I could learn to overcome my envy for those writers talented enough to produce gold right out of the gate, I wouldn’t waste so much time wishing I were better than I am. For me writers block is more often about a fear of inadequacy than a dearth of ideas. It’s sort of silly, when I think about it. Why fear inadequacy when I already know I’m inadequate at first blush? It’s a bit like being afraid of my own shadow. I know from experience that I’m capable of transforming an inadequate rough draft into a more or less adequate finished piece.
I wonder if the most prolific writers are those who are most uninhibited. We normally never see the rough draft, by design. So I don’t know that there’s much in the way of empirical data to support or refute the connection between the prolific and the uninhibited when composing rough drafts. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised to find there was a connection between the two.
Or am I just overthinking this?