Once, a number of years ago, I was flipping through TV channels while on vacation when I happened to land on Martha Stewart’s daytime cooking show.  I normally can take or leave Martha Stewart; I have no strong opinions about her either way.  But just as I was about to change channels again, she said something riveting:  she announced that she was going to show us how to make our own marshmallows.  This I had to see.

I knew that someone had to make marshmallows, of course.  It’s not like they grow on shrubs.  But it never occurred to me that marshmallows could be a DIY project.  Why would you want to?  It would be like making your own matchbooks.  Or wine corks.  Or pencils.  And while you can certainly save money by remodeling your own bathroom or repairing old furniture, I doubt that the same can be said for churning out your own marshmallows by hand.  In any case, I’m pretty sure I can never make a marshmallow that was any better than the ones companies like Kraft and Stay-Puft turn out by the tens of millions every day.  So here’s the deal:  if the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man promises not to write any books (and confine himself to frothy attacks on Ghostbusters), I promise not to make my own marshmallows.

Then again, the ones Martha Stewart made did look pretty tasty.